Service or Quality Time? Martha or Mary?

I’m a doer. I don’t sit down and rest well because there is always something I feel needs to be done. I miss out on many opportunities to just be with family and friends because I’m making sure everyone has a full mug of coffee in the mornings, the meal is prepared on time, and the dishes are all clean, so they enjoy a nice house. I think that I work hard until the time comes so that I can sit and visit, but I still find something to do when the time has arrived. The problem is, I’m always working and still never feel fully prepared. My service becomes self-serving. I’m too busy making everything perfect to see what is most important.

In Luke 11, Jesus came to a village where a woman named Martha opened up her home to Him. Martha worked and made her home extra special for Jesus and His disciples. She prepared the food, kept the fire lit, set the table, made fresh bread, got cold water to drink, and made sure everyone was comfortable. She did this because she loved Jesus. She wanted to please Him.

Her sister Mary did not find hospitality important, she sat at the feet of Jesus and listened to every word. She did not want to miss a moment of Jesus’s presence. She too loved Jesus and it showed by the fact that she wanted to spend time with Him.

Which woman are you like, Martha or Mary?

There have been many debates about this story between women because it’s hard to change your way of thinking. The way both of these women loved Jesus reminds me of the book, “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. My husband and I read this book together after we got married to figure out the best way to love on each other. There are two love languages that stick out to me when I think of Mary and Martha. Mary’s love language must have been quality time and Martha’s must have been acts of service. They both loved Jesus and showed Him their love by doing what they do best.

While neither of these love languages are wrong, the debate is, are they always right? Because of my gift of busyness and hospitality, I miss out on special moments. But if I only focused on spending time with family and friends, they would never be fed. The key is, we need to be wise enough to know how to show love at the appropriate time.

There are many days that I’m only serving and never getting fed by God’s Word. I tell myself I am too busy for my quiet time. I’m too exhausted at the end of the day and fall asleep during my nightly prayers. I lose focus while reading my Bible because I’m too busy planning what my next task is. When that happens, I need to remember that quality time with Jesus is just as important as serving Him.

We need both Mary and Martha in our lives. We need to spend quality time with Jesus so that our relationship is built on a firm foundation, and we are maturing with Him, but we also need to serve Him and God’s kingdom as a result of the maturity.

Where are you lacking today? Are you only focused on your time with Jesus and falling short of serving God’s people, or are you only serving and missing the opportunity to spend one on one time with Him? It takes both to have a full relationship with Jesus. We need to set our priorities. Spending time with Jesus comes first and then we can serve others through the power, wisdom, and courage we receive through Him.

Loving Jesus takes all of us. Our quiet moments, busy days, minutes where we break into tears, and seconds of bursts of laughter. He wants to be a part of all of them. Serve Jesus with a heart like His and give Him all of your heart morning, noon, and night. He will gift you with special moments in the midst of your busyness.

“As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.” Luke 7:38

“For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.” 1 Corinthians 3:9

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

Digging Deeper:

Which do you feel is more important, quality time or acts of service?

How do you need to make changes in your life so that you are spending quality time with Jesus and serving Him?

What are the benefits of living a life of both?