How Do We Love God While Asking For Ourselves?

Asking for ourselves comes so easy. We are born asking for help - with our cries, clinging to our mothers, and dependence on those around us. It’s really not much different with our Heavenly Father as we grow into our relationship with Him.

Without some type of agenda in our prayers, we often go straight to asking for ourselves. We hurry our prayers and get straight to our needs. As we look at the way we pray, the little amount we pray for others and the large amount we ask for ourselves, is it selfish to pray for ourselves?

When God sent Jesus down to earth to live as a human and He experienced the hard times of life, He knew how hard it is to live on this earth. He knew there would be times that Jesus would need Him. Jesus spent countless hours praying when He was on earth. In the Garden of Gethsemane, He prayed for Himself for a long time. Was that selfish of Him? Absolutely not. He was surrendering to God through His prayers.

As we lift up our personal prayers to God, we are showing our dependence and trust in Him. We are recognizing the fact that we need God’s help in our situations. We are showing Him that we see Him above ourselves. We are relying on Him because we are not capable of doing whatever it is we are asking for.

We all have asked for something that we did not receive and vice versa. Matthew 7:7 says, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Doesn’t that say we will be given whatever we ask for? Why are some prayers not answered?

Let’s look a little further into the context. Jesus goes on to say in verse 11 that God is in the business of giving good gifts to His children. If we look at an earthly father fulfilling the request from their child, it is the same concept. If what we are asking of God is good for us and glorifies Him, then He will provide what we are asking. If our ask is not for our good or for the good of another of His children and it does not glorify Him, His answer will be no. We would never allow our children to do something that may harm them just because they wanted it. God would never do that to His children either. Our asks may not always be what is best for us, even though we think they would be. God sees more than we do. He sees the benefit of our requests and the harm that our requests may bring. If we go to God in prayer, remembering He is in the business of doing good for us, we can trust that His answer is the right answer.

John 15:7 says, “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, it will be done for you.” This is another clue as to how God answers our prayers. When we are abiding in Jesus and He is dwelling in us, we are more than likely asking according to His will. The Holy Spirit places a desire in us to seek God’s will in our lives. Jesus prayed according to God’s will. He stated His request and His troubles, but then trusted that God would answer according to His perfect will. He asked God to take away the cruelty He was about to endure, but then said, “Your will be done.” He knew that His life here on earth was not meant to be for His happiness and His pleasure. He had a task. There was an end goal and it was to save God’s people from their sin. As we pray for ourselves, are we focusing on the task that God has laid before us or are we focusing on our happiness?

This is a difficult question. But if we remember that God will always give us good things, it is easier to pray for His will. Our job is to understand what is good so that we ask for those things. Romans 12:2 says to not conform to the patterns of the world but urges us to be transformed by renewing our minds. When we renew our minds and set them in line with God’s goodness, then and only then can we test and approve what God’s will is. Seek Him and find Him. Knock and the door will be opened. By praising Him, then repenting of our sins, and loving others before bringing our own requests to God, we are getting our minds in a right place to put God’s will first in our lives. We are humbling ourselves first and placing God’s will above our own. That requires humility. We are to come before the Lord persistently, unselfishly, and in faith. Our faith in Him brings us to trust that He knows what is best even if we don’t like the answer. We can trust that He will mold our hearts to His will and that He will help us to understand His ways above our own.

I encourage you to start by praying for God to help you accept His will. Ask Him for wisdom and understanding of His will in your life. He doesn’t desire for us to live in the dark, always wondering what He is doing. He desires us to walk side by side in a relationship that is in-sync and a relationship that is built on trust and faith.

Digging Deeper:

How are you searching for God’s will in your life?

Where in your prayer life do you need to surrender to God’s will? Ask God to help you do this.

How is God calling you to trust Him on a deeper level?