Fear-filled Evenings
The sun has gone down and it is time to rest, but thoughts of the day keep going through my head. As I lie down, I think about every detail of the day. I should not have said what I said to my friend, it made me sound insensitive. I wish I had not raised my voice with my children. How can I teach them patience when I have none? I did not get everything done today, now my day tomorrow will be chaos. I tell myself I’m a horrible person and lie in regret and doubt.
I know I should pray but I can’t seem to get my mind focused on Jesus, I can only focus on myself and the day that is leaving me. As I regret the day I had, I begin to worry about the day to come and the cycle begins. Self-doubt, worry, anxiety, and insomnia.
The nights can be scary, lonesome, and filled with the unknown; that is how the enemy wants me to feel. He wants me to live in doubt of who is in control. He wants me to get wrapped up in myself and the world around me and forget that just a whisper of Jesus’ name will turn my focus back on the fact that I am a child of God. He wants me to believe that the world around me is spinning out of control and I am on the rollercoaster ride with it.
The enemy may tell me that, but Jesus tells me differently. Jesus tells me to not be frightened but to be strong and courageous because He is with me (Joshua 1:9). He tells me to not be anxious about what I eat, drink, or about my body because He cares for me more than the plants that grow and are taken care of (Matthew 6:25). He urges me to cast all my cares onto Him because He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7). He fills me with peace and guards my heart and mind from the wicked (Philippians 4:7).
As I lie in bed that night, these verses bubble up into my mind. I go to Jesus on bended knee in confession of the sins I committed in the day behind me and ask for His guidance and direction in the day to come. I am confident in the work He is doing in me, regardless of my mistakes, because I know He cares for me. What I may think is a downfall and mistake, He may be using to grow and mature me. I choose to listen to Him rather than the enemy. This choice is so important.
When I choose to listen to Jesus instead of the enemy, my anxiousness and regret turn into peace and understanding. I can lie in bed with peace in how my day was and in what is to come in my day tomorrow. Jesus’ Words ring true in my ears and mind and are stronger than any words from my enemy.
Digging Deeper:
Read Matthew 6:25-34.
How do you combat the anxiety that haunts you at night?
What verse helps you remember Jesus is with you and is caring for your every need?
How is Jesus calling you to trust Him with your entire day?