What Am I Focused On?
“Listen and understand. What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.”
Matthew 15:10-11
I got a phone call last night from a dear friend. We were talking about how things weren’t going exactly our way. Really, we were having a big complaint session. The new technology we are learning has thrown us for a loop, the people we are working with are driving us crazy, the pandemic is getting very tiring, the excessive work overload is relentless, and the complaints went on from there. Please tell me you have these complaint sessions with friends as well! Of course, we saw problems in everything and everybody else except ourselves.
When I got off the phone with her, my husband said, “That was not an upbeat conversation. You need to be careful in what you say.” I came back at him in full defense mode. I gave every reason I could think of to explain what I was saying in a positive way. The more I explained, the further I dug myself into a hole. Finally, I said, “Yes, you’re right. I was being negative.” As I lay in bed, I thought about the fact that it’s not everything and everyone around me that needs to change, it’s me.
That is not an easy thing to come to the realization with, but when you do, it is so freeing. I can’t control the things around me, but I can control myself.
I woke up the next morning with a new outlook on my tasks. It is not the circumstances or people in my life that pulls me down, it is myself. My attitude was defiling me. Not only was I bringing others down by focusing on their faults, but I was bringing myself into constant negative thoughts with what was flowing out of my mouth.
I was focused too much on others, what they were doing wrong, and the problems around me. When I focus on others, I can’t focus on what needs to change about myself. I needed a heart change, and I couldn’t even see it.
This can happen in so many circumstances. This happens in showing love to others, when we judge others, when we are learning a new task that we struggle with, when our politicians don’t do what we think is right, when we see things on social media we don’t agree with, I could go on and on. These things that go into our body, whether it be coming in through our eyes, ears, thoughts, or mouths; have no impact on our soul. What has an impact on our soul is how we respond to them.
I looked at it this way. I can study God’s Word as much as I want or am physically able to, but if I’m not allowing it to change my heart to where it is affecting my actions, words, and thoughts, then it is useless. It doesn’t matter if what is going into me is positive or negative, if it comes out of me as negative then I am defiling myself and others.
Jesus tells us in Matthew 15:18 that the things that come from our mouth come directly from our hearts. His next words are, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, and slander. These are what defile a person.” Ouch! I may not have been thinking about murder, adultery, or sexual immorality this time, but I was stealing someone’s joy, I was speaking falsely, and I was slandering. This happens all the time without even thinking about it.
There is not a miraculous change that can be seen when this realization happens. It is simply a feeling in the heart that is noticed. I realized I needed to stay focused on what came out of me because it not only affects me, but it affects others. Romans 3:13 says our throats are open graves that are ready to throw anyone around us into it and even ourselves.
With the help of Jesus, we can control our tongues and what comes out of our mouths. He gives us the gift of self-control, compassion, and joy. I have spent the better part of today thanking Jesus for revealing to me what was coming out of my mouth. With this realization, He was able to perform a heart change in me so that what was on my heart was shown through my words and actions.
As we continue into 2022, can we be people that stay focused on Jesus and His will in our lives, our country, and our world? Can we focus on the good work He is performing each day? When we are filled with the evil around us, can we hand out the goodness that only comes from Jesus? When we remember that what is coming out of our mouths is coming straight from our hearts, we can be more aware of when we need a heart check with Jesus.
Digging Deeper:
What do your words say about your heart?
What in your life is coming out of you in a defiling manner?
How can you ask Jesus to help you with a heart change?